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Totally Vacant

by Total Vacation

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1.
Intro 01:10
you scared me half to death that night are you having the time of your life while you're trying to give up the fight? if your skin has you caught in a bind just a moment in time ill defined Nothings better than staying alive ~ send me away, I'm the mistake honestly I can’t give more than I take drawn to the grave still sanctuary always scared me (why? I’ll never die, try as I might, I can’t go through with just taking my life, I can’t complain, can’t shift the blame, I can just live with all my past mistakes.)
2.
taking a long walk and clearing your head when you'd rather be fighting or staying in bed you're killing some time so your mind can unwind you're killing some time for the clarity you might find giving yourself up into the unknown giving yourself space to just let it go / breathing in slow motion to control the feelings you know that you shouldn't let take hold when you get back home you'll find that you are calm its not running away its just walking it off getting outside your head gaining perspective on your situation i guarantee you're better off making mistakes is a part of your life that you cannot let start to define your sense of self your sense of pride, just killing time, just trying not to die i know it feels you’re all on your own, intentions unknown, just pick up the phone, I bet someone's home to talk it out you don’t know why you get so tired when you don’t sleep for days at a time take a breather think about things from a new perspective you’ll see when you get back home you'll find that you are calm its not running away it's just walking it off getting outside your head take time reflect upon how you got here and you will be standing taller than when you were just a speck dissolved in the middle of a pattern of resolve larger pictures always help you gain a deeper understanding of the cause when you get back home you will be standing tall its not running away its just walking it off getting outside your head gaining perspective on your situation I guarantee you're better off
3.
When I see the daylight I swear I’m coming home sick of all this waiting through separate time zones we’re talking on and on across the aisle guess all this waiting's not my style anymore when I see your face again after time apart I swear I’ll never leave your side again but visas and employment are throwing wrenches into everything how much can people grow a year point five alone will we even know each other is there even hope? am I waiting for nothing? Setting off to foreign shores with broken oars Smashing windows opening curtains to the world You're always on my mind so I'm never alone Is there a place I can call home?
4.
Lets go~ Been thinkin lots these days About the way things change And nothing stays the same And you know that The greens they turn to greys And all the color fades I see it in your face Lie alone, when you're at home You're asleep, the world keeps on going Its all the same Isn't it? Nothing new, under the sun Ohhhh nothing feels worth it when you’re sleepwalking through your life Lucid dreams become nightmares and nothing ever seems quite right losing old friends and making amends is, all I can do now, that this is over. Still cant believe I made it this far without any closure or sense of composure (Miles between us but I won’t forget you Swept in and opened my eyes when I met you I can’t help myself I can’t help but run my mouth when you are the one I talk about) Lie alone, when you’re at home Youre asleep, the world keeps on going Its all the same Isnt it? Nothing new, under the sun M o v e! A lifetime spent underwater Waiting for my oxygen to expire Screaming until my lungs collapse I cant see the light Im coming up for air (I hope I get the chance to see you again don't know of the where or the when but if you are in this with me like I am with you who knows what together we'll do?) Take this hope from my hands turn it into something useful Lie alone, when you’re at home Youre asleep, the world keeps on going Its all the same Isnt it? Nothing new, under the sun
5.
TV 03:09
Do you think it’s boring? The way we sat around I don't disagree but I'm missing it right now I didn't take it for granted While you were still here I know that it is better now but I don't know if I can make it through this year Do you wanna watch some tv? I don't care what it is, as long as youre with me Fought for years against my worst compulsions and actually won out So why do I miss sitting with you on our shitty couch? I never thought I'd miss doing nothing The hours we lost, searching for something To fill up our lives or bring some fulfillment To our empty nights Surrounded by strangers Do you wanna watch some tv? I don't care what it is, as long as youre with me Fought for years against my worst compulsions and actually won out Still I miss sitting with you on this shitty fucking couch I never thought I'd miss doing nothing The hours we lost, searching for something Fought for years against my worst compulsions and actually won out So why do I miss sitting with you on our shitty couch? One bad dog and a couple of beers, wont keep me at peace for the next couple years When the city thaws some time in may, promise me that you’ll still see me the same way Miles between us but I won’t forget you Swept in and opened my eyes when I met you I can’t help myself I can’t help but run my mouth when you are the one I talk about (when you get back home, you'll find that you are calm. It’s not running away it’s just walking it off) (sanctuary always scared me)

about

!!! 100% OF PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO TRANS LIFELINE (translifeline.org) !!!

"Total Vacation’s high-energy blend of sticky pop-punk and violently crunchy hardcore might seem like a throwback on the surface, but digging a little deeper yields a warm, chewy heart at the center, buoyed by clever songwriting chops and underpinned by a genuinely earnest sensitivity. Informed by classic easycore influences as much as the gritty melodicism of early-2010s indie rock and emo, Total Vacation have crafted a uniquely propulsive and excitable bottle rocket of a pop-punk EP with their debut, Totally Vacant.

​Total Vacation is formed around the twin poles of Charlie Pastuszenski and Fenn Macon, both of whom grew up enmeshed in the DIY metal, hardcore, and pop-punk scenes that surrounded them in their locale of Massachusetts (Pastuszenski in Medfield, Macon in North Andover). Macon attended college in Worcester and upon getting more involved in that scene (including setting up shows at small local venues like the Shop and the Firehouse) ended up running in many of the same circles as Pastuszenski. By the time summer of 2013 rolled around, the two had become thick as thieves, bonding over albums like The Greatest Generation by the Wonder Years and Whenever, If Ever by The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die (DNA from both of those releases crops up in abundance on Totally Vacant).

​Although both had been bitten by the collaboration bug, it took quite a long time for a solid project involving the two to hit the ground running. Things weren’t helped by Macon staying in Massachusetts while Pastuszenski would move to New York City and later on Stockholm, Sweden (which is where he lives currently). Still, whenever the two happened to be in the same place at the same time, impromptu jam sessions would occur, and the underlying drive to create something concrete was still there.

​In mid-2020, that nascent creative drive was kicked into high gear, like it was for many others, by the COVID-19 pandemic, and Pastuszenski began to put together a rough demo of the first Total Vacation song, “Pattern of Resolve.” Sending it to Macon for feedback eventually resulted in a spirited, collaborative back-and-forth as song structures, lyrics, and melodies began to shift and take on new shapes. After 6 months, they had somehow managed to write and track an EP’s worth of songs (though the instruments were primarily tracked by Pastuszenski-- including the drum programming-- there are concrete plans to record their next release together and in person), with a little help from their mutual friend Elle Mitchell, who provided some vocal mixing as well as a standout screaming section during the bridge on late-EP heavy hitter “Under the Sun.” Ultimately, Macon and Pastuszenski are both guitarists, vocalists, and songwriters for the project, while Mitchell has recently been inducted as a bassist in addition to their vocal talents.

​Totally Vacant is a brilliantly compact beast, comprising five songs (one of which is a short-but-sweet intro track), none of which stretch much further than the three-minute mark. The overall impact is something akin to being hit in the face with bubble gum, as the EP fuses exuberantly spiky pop-punk melodies with thick, rubbery low-end grooves and mosh parts organically and delightfully. Songs like mid-EP tentpole “Transatlantischism” infuse soft-hearted acoustic interplay into the fray before disregarding the rules and barrelling ahead into a speedy barnstormer. Other songs, like closer and absolute standout “TV,” also incorporate flecks of the meandering, intricate melodies of early 2010s emo without sacrificing any of the energy central to the project.

​Lyrically, Totally Vacant is refreshingly earnest and direct in a sea of artists who rely on lazy metaphor or smirking irony to get their point across. Although there are some romantic throughlines, a good chunk of the lyrical content is actually about Macon and Pastuszenski’s long-distance friendship, and that comes through brilliantly in lines like “If you’re in this with me like I am with you/Who knows what together we’ll do” or “Miles between us but I won’t forget you.” It provides the entire project with raw nerves and a bloody, beating heart, making it at once relatable and deeply, touchingly personal.

​Total Vacation are one of the biggest surprises of 2021. As earnestly emotional as they are genuinely goofy, they have the smart, sharp hooks and the elastic effervescence to shoot themselves into the stars. Totally Vacant is anything but a nostalgia play-- it’s a plea for friendship and comfort in a time and world where nothing is needed more."

--Ellie Kovach (@youdontneedmaps on Twitter <3)

credits

released August 6, 2021

charlie (he/they), fenn (they/them), elle (they/them) are total vacation

thank you to (T-T)b (t-tb.bandcamp.com) for the band name.

vocals by fenn, charlie, and elle in stockholm, sweden and boston, ma, usa
instruments/programming by charlie in sweden
instrumental mix by charlie
vocal mix by elle
mastered by zach weeks (www.zachweeks.com)
cover art by dear friends anna and lou

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about

Total Vacation Boston, Massachusetts

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boston/stockholm

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